The Fear of Fear



   


I'm tempted to say that the fear of fear is a big one in terms of mind habits to conquer. But it's not really a big one - it's huge! Every one of us has had first-hand experience with the debilitating effects of fear. Certainly the invisible mind habit of fearing fear itself will be confronted as you step into the inspired life changes you're after.


When Fear Becomes Habitual


More than just a powerful emotion that comes and goes - fearing can become habitual. You may develop a habit of  fearing certain things or certain situations - even while you're aware of no real danger. This is fear solidified as habit within.

Social anxiety, the fear of public speaking, the fear of change, the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of rejection - just a few examples of fear taking up habitual residence within. Fear taking shape as a habit within is actually surprisingly good news - since emotions are notoriously difficult to direct or control, yet habits can be changed or broken.


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The Gift of Fear


When it comes to fear habits we aren't the same. The habits I develop may be very different from yours. In this way, we each walk our own unique evolutionary pathways in life. We each confront and reshape our own fears.

One of the gifts of choosing to walk a conscious path in life is getting to know yourself on a deeper level than most. You come face-to-face with your fear habits and are challenged to move through them - changing those habits as you go.

Yoda's wisdom points us in the right direction, "Named must your fear be, before banish it you can." Facing fear is to first acknowledge it - there it is, a fear habit within. Certainly nothing to be afraid of, but fearlessly addressed. The only thing stopping this fearless acknowledgement is the fear of fear itself.

Which is really just compiling fear upon fear - unnecessary.


Natural Fear, Conditioned Fear, and the Fear of Fear Itself


The raw emotion of fear comes as naturally to you as breathing; and for good reason. Fear is there to protect you and warn you from impending danger. The fear of heights or the fear of anything that poses real physical danger is instinctual and natural. Natural fear is there to help you survive and thrive.

It's habitual fear - fear that has been conditioned into you later in life - that can present as an obstacle. Through personal experience and upbringing you learn to fear certain situations - even if they no longer pose any real threat, as discussed above.

The fear of fear itself is one of those learned habits. We learn to become afraid of what fear will do to us; instead of remembering that fear is there for us. We do very well indeed to unlearn this habit of fearing, none other, than fear itself.


Are There Any Benefits to the Fear of Fear?


Raw, non-habituated fear is friendly - warning you of real dangers and motivating preventative measures. Yet, what survival value does the fear of fear have to offer? None. Fearing fear only seems to make matters worse in effectively dealing with situations, doesn't it? It gets in your way.

As a multiplier of fear - the fear of fear can be debilitating. Any natural or conditioned fears that may arise within you, immediately get amplified by fearing your bodily reactions. Accepting fear is the antidote. Befriending fear is the solution. Befriending your mind is wisdom.

That's a true benefit of the fear of fear. It can be a road to wisdom if you let it.


Know Thyself!


As with any other fear, working to master the fear of fear is a matter of self-knowledge and intensely personal work. It is your own unique evolutionary pathway to walk.

The first step is to acknowledge the fear. You become intensely curious - watching, investigating, seeing how fear operates in your body and in your life. You familiarize yourself with fear and make a study of it - with your very own body and mind as laboratory.

By familiarizing yourself with fear, you familiarize yourself with the operations of your own body and mind as well. You no longer need to fear something you know and understand. It's the unknown and non-familiar that's potentially scary.

In pursuing this self-study, you aren't trying to eliminate fear per se - that would be the fear of fear doing the talking! Your aim is to become an expert on your body and mind at work. It's the famous war strategist, Sun Tzu, who said that by knowing yourself and knowing your enemy you'll be undefeated.

That's all well for warring armies, yet standing firm on the battlefields within requires taking things one step further. You get to know yourself - your very own body and mind. You get to know your enemy - fear. The next internal step is to befriend your enemy.  After all, why make an enemy of your very own mind?

As a friend you gain influence. As enemies there's only fear and control. Aim to befriend your mind and you'll find not only the fear of fear vanishing, but you'll be empowered to cope and deal with the habitual fears already yours.


Mastering Your Relationship With Fear


You know you're being mastered by the mind habit of fearing fear when... 

  • You're obsessed with eradicating any and all fear from your life. You don't yet see fear as an integral part of self, mind and life. 

  • You believe that fear must be eliminated before you can proceed. You take fear as a red light screaming STOP. You don't yet own your fears; they still own you.

  • You deny fear where you can't eradicate it. You aren't really afraid of death, of life, of anything at all. You equate courage with not feeling fear - so when you can't get rid of fear you numb your feelings instead.

  • Comfort and security are more compelling than learning, expansion and personal growth. Inspired life change is still more attractive as a thought, than an actual path.

  • You're afraid to get curious about your fears - fearing that this will bring more fear into your life. The fear of fear is clearly running the show. 


You know you're starting to master the mind habit of fearing fear when... 

  • You're becoming curious about the fears in your life. You incorporate this curiosity is part of your study of self and mind. You aren't afraid of looking at fear as it happens.

  • You begin to regard fear as a companion to your travels. Where you go, it comes; and where it goes, you go. 

  • You develop a new-found respect for fear as an enlivening force in your life. You no longer need to deaden yourself or numb your feelings in a misguided attempt to 'eliminate' or avoid fear.

  • You know that your inspired life change and personal growth go hand-in-hand with making a study of yourself and the things you fear. These are regarded as one and the same. 

  • You're happy when identifying a powerful fear that's been holding you back. Not only have you just become more self-aware, but you've discovered a stepping stone that can give you a significant leap on your evolutionary path.

  • You begin to embrace the motivating power of fear. When you find a fear that's powerful enough to get you off your butt and moving in the inspired life change direction you want to go - you honor it as a valuable ally to your path.



Self-Mastery and the Fear of Fear


Fearing fear is a uniquely human capacity. It seems to come part and parcel with inheriting a human mind. When an animal feels fear, it acts on it - it doesn't evaluate it. As human beings we have the means to evaluate fear.

As with most things in life, this can be good or not-so-good.

On the plus side your ability to evaluate fear helps you be proactive in life. You can decide what to do with your fears. On the downside this awareness makes the fear of fear possible. Yet, even this can be turned to your favor.

Rather than setting out to master fear - which is a wild, unruly emotion; you can set out to master your relationship with fear instead. That's where increasing self-mastery lies.


Five More Mind Habits You May Do Very Well to Master....


Clinging To Our Comfort Zone 

Comparing yourself to others 

Catastrophizing 

Perfectionism and Procrastination 



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